Netflix has been very busy this season. They have released a new season of "The Crown", and a movie, "Hillbilly Elegy" that at first glance would seem to be polar opposites, but upon reflection I find have a theme in common.
Both of these are dramatizations of experiences within real families, and both show how families have an identity and, for better or worse, are a place that we belong, and that will always be a large part of who we are. These stories also underscore the difficulty that "outsiders" have in trying to navigate the family dynamic, and some of the challenges that we face in overcoming the way that we have been raised.
I can understand much better now the difficulty that Princess Diana had in fitting in the the royal family, although much of this storyline may be fictional, the truth is that anyone who tried to marry into that family would have to make a huge change, because the royal family can't, and maybe won't ever change. That dynamic is set. I can see how isolating and painful it would be to always be the odd man out and to feel like you are constantly missing something.
"Hillbilly Elligy" is about a family within a completely different set of circumstances, but a very similar type of cohesion. The destructive patterns of the lifestyle in the region where the main character grew up, are repeated over and over, generation after generation. These families also can't, or won't, change. It is a much more systemic set of issues, but still, looking in from the outside you would think that it should be fairly easy to identify the problematic patterns in the world around you and determine to make different choices. Being a part of a family can mean security, but it can also mean taking on the worst of the wounds of the past.
We can all look at our families and see traditions, heirlooms, family traits, but it can be hard to look at ourselves and see the habits, sin patterns and wounds that we also carry with us through life. We need to pray deeply and let the Holy Spirit get into the dark places. He is the only one who can root out and heal the parts of us that are subject to generational pain. We also need Him to heal our relationships and to be an active presence within our homes. He is the only one who can make sure that every member of the family feels included and loved for who they are.
That there is pain and sin in every corner of society is a fact that is shared openly in the media. It plays well. People want to watch the suffering of others. That there is healing and freedom in Christ doesn't get nearly the press that you would think it would. But there is, and if Netflix won't show it, then it is up to us.
