Royals and Hillbillies

 Netflix has been very busy this season. They have released a new season of "The Crown", and a movie, "Hillbilly Elegy" that at first glance would seem to be polar opposites, but upon reflection I find have a theme in common. 

Both of these are dramatizations of experiences within real families, and both show how families have an identity and, for better or worse, are a place that we belong, and that will always be a large part of who we are. These stories also underscore the difficulty that "outsiders" have in trying to navigate the family dynamic, and some of the challenges that we face in overcoming the way that we have been raised.

I can understand much better now the difficulty that Princess Diana had in fitting in the the royal family, although much of this storyline may be fictional, the truth is that anyone who tried to marry into that family would have to make a huge change, because the royal family can't, and maybe won't ever change. That dynamic is set. I can see how isolating and painful it would be to always be the odd man out and to feel like you are constantly missing something.

"Hillbilly Elligy" is about a family within a completely different set of circumstances, but a very similar type of cohesion. The destructive patterns of the lifestyle in the region where the main character grew up, are repeated over and over, generation after generation. These families also can't, or won't, change. It is a much more systemic set of issues, but still, looking in from the outside you would think that it should be fairly easy to identify the problematic patterns in the world around you and determine to make different choices. Being a part of a family can mean security, but it can also mean taking on the worst of the wounds of the past. 

We can all look at our families and see traditions, heirlooms, family traits, but it can be hard to look at ourselves and see the habits, sin patterns and wounds that we also carry with us through life. We need to pray deeply and let the Holy Spirit get into the dark places. He is the only one who can root out and heal the parts of us that are subject to generational pain. We also need Him to heal our relationships and to be an active presence within our homes. He is the only one who can make sure that every member of the family feels included and loved for who they are. 

That there is pain and sin in every corner of society is a fact that is shared openly in the media. It plays well. People want to watch the suffering of others. That there is healing and freedom in Christ doesn't get nearly the press that you would think it would. But there is, and if Netflix won't show it, then it is up to us.

Searching With Great Anxiety

In the Gospel reading for today, Mary and Joseph are heading home from celebrating the Passover in Jerusalem, when they realize that they haven't seen their son, Jesus, for awhile. They are tired and they are already thinking about what they have to do when they get back. Joseph probably has some orders to fill that he had to put off for the trip. Mary has a ton of laundry, and there will be shopping to do, because everyone knows that you get rid of everything in the larder before you leave. 

They ask around, thinking that surely he has just been hanging out with his cousins a bit further ahead in the caravan, but no one has seen him. This is concerning. Mary starts to feel that knot in the pit of her stomach, that every mother has felt at least once. 

Joseph is trying to be the calm one, but it is becoming clear that no has seen him and they are going to have to retrace their steps. 

They head back to the Temple, which is the last place they remember seeing him, and as they walk around one of the porticos they hear a familiar voice. It is a young voice. Not the voice of a child, not quite the voice of a man, but they look at each other in immense relief. It is the voice of Jesus.

So many times I think we search for God everywhere, in people, trends, movements, in the world. We don't know that we are seeking God, only that part of us that is restless. Our hearts truly long for the One that made them from eternity, for Himself. We just don't always know it.

We have to turn, or return, to the New Jerusalem, the bride, the Church, if we are to have Peace, We will search everywhere, but when we go to the Father's House, we will find what our hearts desire. There we will find peace, and truth. Our hearts will leap at hearing your voice at last. We are finally in your presence. 

We come in, like Mary and Joseph, and hear that voice, and at first we can't quite make out what He is saying, but the tone and the speech is familiar. We move toward it, and as we come all the way in, there He is! Body and Spirit, teaching and astounding us! Our joy is so great!!! We realize that it wasn't Him that was lost, but ourselves. We are back in the house of the Father, and we are in the right place.

Free, Full, Faithful and Fruitful- In Marriage and in Faith

Romance is the stuff of great literature, great adventure, great marriages and deep faith.

In this world great romance is a call to listen to what our hearts say in the deepest places.
It has a sister, and her name is sacrifice.
To know and understand the truth of romance and why it is such a fundamental concept, it may help to look at two fundamental parts of the way we are created.
The call to union and the call of God to the soul. Both of these things are intrinsic to the human experience, and both of them are original.
Romance is the language of God.

Today the idea of romance has become synonymous with chick flicks, chocolate and flowers.
In a culture where literally everything is commercialized, romance has become something that you purchase the first two weeks in February.
Great romance isn't even understood. There are elements here and there, but a complete set of  components are rarely found together in one place.
The romance between God and humanity began with all of these, but they were quickly lost, and we have been trying to reacquire them ever since the fall.

One place that they can be found is in the Sacrament of Marriage, as it was intended.

The way that God made us to seek, find and "cling" to each other, has an important role to play in how we seek, find, and cling, to God.
Probably the greatest romance ever written is the Bible. It is the passionate seeking of the Bridegroom for the bride. It begins with Him forming hearts that will love Him, His delight at their relationship with Him, His sadness at their betrayal, and His calling, seeking and saving of them with a complete gift of Himself.
There is sweet fruit, choice wine, lovers speaking poetry, a battle where the bridegroom gives His life for the bride, and even a happy ending after all that.
Love's perfect kiss wakes the prince this time.
And this epic is lived out again and again, day after day, in our own stories.

The four pillars of marriage, as defined by the Church, are that it must be free, full (total), faithful, and fruitful. If any one of those elements are missing, the marriage is not what it was meant to be.
All of these pillars can be looked at in light of our relationship with Christ, the bridegroom, as well.

In marriage, the union must be freely entered into. There can be no coersion. A marriage in which one person, or both, feel pressured has an impediment.
So too, our faith can not be coerced in any way. While most of us have our Christening or Baptism at a very young age, this Sacrament initiates us into the family, but when we are old enough to understand, we each must choose to embrace our faith in God, and walk in relationship with Him. A relationship that is entered into by coercion, is not a convenant but a place where someone is being enslaved. Christ came to set us free from all the slaveries that the world tries to impose. He is a lover who waits for His beloved to come to Him and join to Him. He waits for our "Yes".

Marriage must be total. It's an all-in proposition. The spouses become one flesh, and they create something that wasn't before. The two of them make a family, an image of God. The family, within the covenant of marriage, is so total, that the completeness of the two can become another person.
There is a self-giving that has to be complete, or the marriage can't become what it was meant to be.
Our relationship with God is intended to be total as well. We are called to a covenant relationship in which we give ourselves totally to become one with our beloved. We have to be willing to pour all of ourselves out so that God can make us into a new creation. He has certainly kept His part of the deal. He gave us Himself, died for us, and gives even His body. He asks us to go all in as well. He wants us to let go of the things that keep us from throwing ourselves into His arms.

Thirdly, a marriage must be faithful. Once the two become one, there is no place for "other loves".
Obviously, within a marriage infidelity is destructive and it can lead to the death of the relationship. In the relationship between God and His people, infidelity has always been a theme. From the very beginning, when Adam and Eve broke faith with God, there has been an ongoing cycle of calling, covenant, relationship and betrayal between God and His people. There is even an entire book of the Bible, Hosea, in which God compares his people to a prostitute with fickle hearts and wicked desires.
In our own lives so many of us live the same kind of cycle. When we find God we are cleansed, we are renewed and our hearts are pure, and then the inevitable lies of the world whisper to us that God has forsaken us, or that He isn't there, or that we are so fallen that He has given up on us. We listen, like Eve, and we step out into our first dalliance. It may be shortlived, and we may run back to Him immediately and beg to be forgiven, or it may be the beginning of a long series of infidelities in our relationship with Him. A lack of faithfulness that will have the same effect on our relationship with God as it does on a marriage. The wounds, and betrayal are all on our side, but they can lead to the death of the relationship just the same. The difference is that God will always take us back. He will always forgive and the relationship will be healed, and often even stronger.

The fourth pillar in marriage is fruitfulness. The union of the two in a marriage will always give life in some way. Whether it is the conception, birth and upbringing of children, or a Spiritual fecundity that arises from the gift of the spouses to each other.
Our relationship with God is also intended to be fruitful. We are called to union and the gift of ourselves to God results in a lifegiving. The Spirit gives life through our union with Him. God brings new life out of us, as we become "Christ-bearers" in the world.
Mary is the first and prime example of a fruitful relationship with God, that began with her soul uniting entirely with Him in a love that was so powerful that God Himself was conceived in her womb. She was the receiver of this love, but she was also an active participant. Her spousal union with the Holy Spirit remains for us a hope for our own union with Him. We will be fruitful, if we open to receive, as Mary did, the power of His lifegiving love.

God is seeking us with a passionate thirst.
We are His beloved, and He will constantly woo our hearts.
If we surrender to this amazing love, we will be given the most incredible array of gifts, not just at the wedding feast, but here, in this life.
He is your lover, and He wants a free, full, faithful and fruitful relationship with you.
Give Him a chance.

Let Him romance you, in the way that romance was intended.

My Mother, My Queen

The Gospel reading for today is:

John 19:25-34

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother
    and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas,
    and Mary of Magdala.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved,
    he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.”
Then he said to the disciple,
    “Behold, your mother.”
And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.
After this, aware that everything was now finished,
    in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled,
    Jesus said, “I thirst.”
There was a vessel filled with common wine.
So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop
    and put it up to his mouth.
When Jesus had taken the wine, he said,
    “It is finished.”
And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

Now since it was preparation day,
    in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath,
    for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one,
    the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken
    and they be taken down.
So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first
    and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus.
But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead,
    they did not break his legs,
    but one soldier thrust his lance into his side,
    and immediately Blood and water flowed out.

As I was praying this morning, these three passages reached out to my heart.  In the first, Jesus asks His mother to be the mother of all of us. She becomes  the new Eve, the new mother of all the living. He does this knowing that the conflict is joined and that the Church on earth, His Bride, will need the help of His mother in the battle for souls. In the second, Jesus consummates His marriage to the Bride, and in the third the Church is born from His side. His perfect Bride.  

The Mother of all the living is there as the Blood and Water come forth, and she stands in our place to receive it. It is the beginning of the New Creation. The power of death can't overcome the love of the Bridegroom and even in death, God creates. He pours out a new life, a new existence. 

 Our mother, is standing there at the cross, as she also stands at the right hand of Jesus with the Church Triumphant in Heaven, and as she intercedes with motherly love for the Church Suffering until they can enter Heaven fully clothed in the wedding garment. 

Her place here with the Church Militant, is right in the heat of the battle. Every morning she is there to help us get our armor on straight, she is our loving guide in the pain and the confusion of the trenches, and in the evening she tends our wounds and lovingly sings us to sleep. Her heart towards the souls that are slogging it out faithfully is a beacon of hope, and that same heart is breaking for her sons and daughters who have either given up, or joined the other side. 

When we are finally at the end of our particular battle, she will take us to the bridal chamber, and she will prepare us to meet her Son, the Bridegroom. She will dress us in our beautiful garment, she will attend us with special graces, which will have the aroma of flowers and exotic spices, and she will hold our hand as she presents us to Him. 

 She is our help. Jesus has given us the mother that He created for Himself. She loves who He loves, the way He loves. She is not just the stately queen mother, standing in the throne room. She does what all mothers do. She prays, she works, she guides, and she never, ever stops loving her children, no matter what. 

Lights

This morning as I was praying the Gospel, where Jesus promises that He will send the Holy Spirit, I heard a dove outside in the tree, calling, and a ways away there was another dove answering. It was such a beautiful gift from the Lord, through creation. One voice calling, and another answering the call. Lord, may I always hear and answer the call of your Spirit, the spouse of my soul.
Come Holy Spirit.

Later I was praying through the Awakening Love retreat, and the image was one of Jesus helping us on the path, which is aften difficult and rocky, sometimes very steep.
I thought of all the "rocks" that I have seen as stumbling blocks on the way. Sometimes I have climbed them and even cursed them, but it's funny how, when you look back, they don't look like obstacles, but like stepping stones.

The Lord has asked me to follow him, to let him carry the pack and walk in His steps.
The view from the top is going to be wonderful!

Reading the Lord of the Rings, I had a thought about the language of the Angels, which are represented by the Elves. They have a beautiful language that is from all eternity.
The language of Heaven is given to us by the Holy Spirit. The gift of tongues.
Frodo was able to speak the language of the elves. I hope someday to be able to hear the language of Heaven, and understand.

Amen, Amen

In pondering the Resurrection of Jesus, I love to picture the moment when His heart is infused with Divine Life, and begins to beat once again. The moment when everything, in time and eternity, changed.

 This Sacred Heart, which had been pierced by a sword at His crucifixion, is pierced with the Love of the Father and this Heart begins to beat again with glorified life. Every part of His body is alive again, and is not just alive, but new. There is power, glory, love and divinity in every single cell.

His Heart beats and He doesn't just wake up, He RISES. He comes forth. He is still incarnate God, but now His body is something entirely new in all of time, eternity, and creation.
This new body, this new heart, He has given to us!

When we receive Him in the Eucharist, we receive His heart; not a lifeless heart, pierced by a sword, we receive His glorified heart! The same heart that began to beat again at the resurrection and has never stopped. That heart infused with the very life of God. Every cell.

If this is true, then we would be incredibly and underservedly Blessed to receive it even once in our lives. Once would be a miracle, yet we are able to receive this miracle EVERY day!

It is true. He said so. He is the Truth.

Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.54Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.55For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.56Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.57Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me. ~ John 6: 53-5758

A Meditation on the Phantom of the Opera

The Iconic story of the Phantom of the Opera has been a favorite, mostly since Andrew Lloyd Weber put music and lyrics to it, for decades, and I have practically memorized it.
However, in prayer I received the most amazing gift of insight into the love of God for us.
This story is a beautiful meditation on Salvation history.

Jesus says "Love me, that's all I ask of you".  This song is a duet, a song that is sung by two people in love, and it fits perfectly within the context of Jesus calling out to the soul, His beloved.

The whole story parallels the story of the soul, the world, the flesh, satan, our Savior, and redemption.

As the story opens, Christine is singing a song, and she surprises all those that know her as a chorus girl in the theater. They don't know that she has been taught by an unseen "teacher". The Angel of Music, that she thinks her father has sent to her from the other side, since he has died. This "teacher" gives her music and tells her what to sing, much like the world gives us something to call our own and teaches us that what we desire is an end in itself. It offers to give us something, and we make the deal. Christine takes what is offered and then later realizes that it has been "given" with many strings attached. She is no longer free. The Phantom holds her, and the whole theater in his power, by instilling fear in all those who work in the theater, and greed in the men that run it. The Phantom requires a stiff repayment. Just everything.

The themes in the story are so clearly laid out by the music.

Dark and dischordant, light and sweet and sweeping.
The underworld and the rooftops.
Childhood innocence and lost fatherhood.

The Phantom is a dark character, that "haunts" the theater and lives in the depths underground. He is hidden, but always present.
It seems that he represents the world, the things that promise to fulfill our deepest desires.
He also has a demonic side to him. He wants Christine, who seems to represent the soul.
He wants her, he craves her, and he seduces her.

Christine at first innocently accepts what the Phantom is offering, but she starts to see that in order to keep receiving his "benefits" she will have to give more and more of herself to him.

Meanwhile there is Raul, who is the image of the Savior, in so many ways.
His love for Christine is pure, and only seeks to be returned.
He only wants her to love him, and he goes to her, he woos her and she responds to this love that is more than she has ever known, however she still wants to keep the Phantom in the wings, and she is torn.
She tries to negotiate, to keep the fame and success that the Phantom has brought her, and to love Raul as well.  She keeps their love hidden and secret, because she knows that the Phantom won't be pleased. The Phantom wants total control over her. He seems to love her, but in the end it is a desire to possess her.

Christine can't have both, and as she takes the role that the Phantom has "arranged" for her, she steps into a deal that she will not be able to get herself out of.  She is taken into the underworld of the Phantom and she sees who he really is, still she doesn't want to let go of what she has bargained for, and still she is trying to negotiate. He gave her his music, and he has given her what she wanted, now he wants her to stay with him and give all of herself to him, forever. His deception and cruelty begin to show, and she realizes that she has made a deal with a dark force. She exposes his weakness and the reason that he had hidden himself, but it seems that the distortion of his face is minor compared with the way that his soul has twisted.

Raul meanwhile is searching for her everywhere, he will not let her go without a fight. He descends to where she is, and he offers himself. She is powerless and when she realizes that Raul will give himself for her, she sees what true love is. She chooses Raul, but the Phantom escapes.

Evil will always exist. We can choose Christ, but the evil lurks as long as we inhabit this earth. There will always be a dark presence that wants to possess our souls, and our desires can convince us that we can give "just a little" to get what we want.
It is a dangerous game, and we are children playing with fire.

Jesus' desire for us is bigger and stronger than any darkness that has it's tentacles around us, but we have to call out, we have to desire to be saved, more than we desire the fruits of the "deals" that we have made with the world.

All He asks is that we love Him.

Roads

Today is Emmaus Sunday.
I love this Gospel reading of the disciples meeting the risen Jesus on the road, and how He explains to them all that points to Him in Scripture.
As disciples, meeting Him on the road, and walking with Him, brings us understanding and awareness of so many things that we would never have been able to figure out for ourselves. He gives us insight through the Holy Spirit, and He is there when we pray and when ask.

The road to Emmaus was the place for the disciples to learn, it was the place for teaching and discovery. It was where Jesus chose to meet them. They were going somewhere, they had a destination when they set out, and they had no idea who they would meet along the way, and what would happen. He could have met them anywhere, but He chose the road.

There are so many things to ponder when it comes to roads, and they seem to be a recurring theme for me lately. I have found them showing up in my thoughts, in my stories, in the things that I read and it is so amazing where they lead!!

I am on my own personal road. It is the life that I have walked, and all the places and things that I have come to and picked up along the way. All the places that I have felt loved and cared for, some places where I have felt alone, and all the things that I have learned, as I have gone along, about who I am and what I am meant for.

I am reading these three books right now, and roads seem to be a theme:

There are the roads that I find in literature and Scripture. The road to Emmaus certainly, but also the theme of roads in the Lord of the Rings, Les Mis, Night, and so many others. Roads and paths. Some taking people to places of joy and beauty, and others taking people through the valley of the shadow of death.

We are all on the path of life, and that path converges with others, the road broadens, and we walk together. We walk, and we share and we gather experiences and tools for the life that we will find further down the road. God always provides us with the things that we will need, and most of the time we don't even know why we pick them up and put them into our pack. It is only later, as we come to a place that we couldn't possibly have foreseen, that we pull out that gift, or experience or trait, and we can see that it is just the thing for the situation. We have to trust that He is giving us what we will need for where He will ask us to go.

God is so good!! Nothing is wasted, and all things are gifts for the road.
Keep your eyes up and open. Walk briskly but don't go so fast that you can't see the things that are there to simply enjoy. When the going gets tough, when it seems like the hill will never end, keep going because the view at the top will be amazing!
When it seems like it is just too dark to take another step, reach out and find a hand to hold. Reach out and find someone who is holding a light. Walk together.

Just remember that when the journey is over, He will be with you, you will go in to the house together and you will know Him in the breaking of the bread, which is the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Mama's Bread

It's early morning. I open my eyes and see the rough beams over my head and feel my little sister snuggled up against my back. It's still chilly in the room so I pull the woolen blanket up over my shoulders. I hear Mama in the other room, like every morning. She is bringing in the water. She has had the cook fire going for an hour already, so that she can start the day's cooking. Just like any morning, I hear her moving things around and starting the daily bread. I love Mama's bread. We have that simple barley bread at every meal. I hear the rhythmic sound of the bowl on the table as she kneads. I am still sleepy and I almost fall back asleep, but then I remember what day it is. It's my day out with Papa! He is going to another village to buy some new nets for our fishing boat, and he says that I can come with him! I have never been allowed to go, because mama needs me here to carry the wood and watch my sister. Papa needs me today, though. He has a lot to carry and we have no donkey, or even a cart. Papa has had a bad time this year with fishing. His boat is old, and he has a bad back. He had some other men to help him, but one of them bought his own boat, so now Papa is trying to fish alone. I wish I was older and bigger, then I could go out to fish with him. I would use my strong arms and back to pull in the nets, which are heavy even when they are empty! I wish I would grow faster.

I get up and cover up my sister. She is a little one, and she has to stay with Mama in the house. She is mostly a good girl, but sometimes she is so much trouble! She is cute when she's asleep though.
Papa says that I am almost old enough to take over some of the outside work. I am amost 9! I am tall for my age too. I have a lot to learn about fishing, I know, but when I can work with Papa I will be able to learn to mend the nets and help with the boat, at least when it's tied up. I know that fishing is a hard job, and Papa is never going to make a lot of money, but he says that if I can learn how to fish, and do business, I will always have work. He says that God always gives us enough, and that He has been very good to our family.

As I go into the next room, Mama looks up and smiles.
"Good Morning" She says, in a happy voice. Mama is always smiling and singing, even when she has to carry the heavy water, and there isn't much flour left in the jug. She loves to sing. I guess I probably know all the Psalms by heart, just from hearing Mama singing them around the house all day.
She looks back down at her bread dough and hums as she makes it into little loaves and lays them out to rise before she bakes them.
"This will be a big day for you, Silas. A lot of walking! It is a long way to the village where the nets are being made. Your Papa will be so glad to have you along, but you will have to keep up."

I go to the door, to go out and wash, "I will keep up! And I will help him with the things that he needs me to carry. I can be a big help!"

We eat breakfast and then Papa goes out to get the old net, which he will trade to the netmaker, along with some money, for the new one. The nets have been mended many times and this one is too worn out to use anymore. They are heavy and hard to carry but Papa is only taking one of them so he will carry it and I will carry the other things. I have a bag with our dinner, and the money.
Mama says "I have packed a dinner for you and Papa so that you will have enough to eat until you get back. I put in an extra loaf of bread, to give to whoever you find along the way that is in need of food. We always have enough and God is so good that we should always share. Silas, you will need to be the one to make sure that that loaf finds the one who needs it. Your father has to think about his business with the netmaker."
She puts her hand on my head and prays a Blessing. I smile up at her, and then pick up the bag and put it over my shoulder. It hangs down pretty low.

As I walk out the door I see Papa waiting by the path that leads to the road. Our house is on the side of a hill and we can see the lake from the roof. Our boat is sitting down near the water, and the path goes past it. We say hello to our neighbors as we pass them. Most of them are fishing families too. I see a couple of boys that I sometimes play ball with, and I wave at them. I am excited that I get to go out on the road with my Papa, and I will be able to tell them about what I saw when I get back, even if it's just another village and a netmaker. I hoist the bag and walk faster to keep up with Papa.

As we come up the hill and out onto the road, we are surprised by the many people that we see. At this time of day, the road is usually almost empty. I don't get to come up to the road very much, because Papa says that we should only go out on it when we have to. It is a place where all kinds of people pass, and while most of them are just doing what we are doing, going from one place to another to do some kind of business, there are also people that are there to do bad things. There are people that steal goods and money, and there are even people that will hurt you just because you are on the road. He says that they are hard people, without any care for others. I don't understand why a person would hurt another person for no reason.

There are all kinds of people walking. There are men in nice clothes leading donkeys, and there are people pushing carts with other people in them. There are whole families walking with small children. There are lots and lots of poor people! I think of the extra loaf in my bag. I guess I won't have any trouble finding someone who needs it. The hardest thing will be deciding who needs it the most!

Papa looks kind of unhappy. He was planning to walk fast, get to the netmaker around the middle of the day, and get back in the evening. The crowded road is going to make the journey much slower. I hear him say to himself, "Well, this was the wrong day to try to go out on business. What is going on?"
I look up at him, and I hope that he won't change his mind and go home. I know it's hard to walk fast, but it is pretty exciting seeing so many different kinds of people. I have never seen crowds like this except during the Holy days, when we go to pray. Then the whole town comes for the occasion, but our town is small and poor, and we never see people in fine clothes!

Papa walks on for a while. He says that surely these people aren't all going to the same place that we are. They will get where they are going and leave the road sooner or later. The crowds seem almost like a stream that carries us along. We are moving slowly, but we are moving. We go on past our usual dinner time. I am hungry, but there is no place to sit down and eat, and I think Papa is just waiting to get through this crush of people before we stop. I am tempted to reach into the bag and take a piece off of a loaf, but I don't want to let Papa know that I am so hungry that I can't wait. He is older and stronger, but I want him to see that I can wait as long as he can.

As the road curves around a low mountain, we see that the people are now coming from everywhere! There are people as far as we can see, and so many of them are sick! Why would so many sick people want to come out of their homes, in the dust and the danger, to sit in a field? I have never heard of anything like it, and I don't think Papa has either, because he has stopped, and is just staring across the sea of people. He tells me to stay close, because he doesn't want to lose track of me.

The sun is overhead and it is hot. Some people are eating small amounts of food, but most of them look like they just ran from their homes without preparing for a trip. I don't understand. They are all milling around and some are pushing the sick people over to a place a little ways up the hill. I try to hear what they are all saying. Most of them are talking about people being healed. They all know someone that was really sick or dying, that was healed, and I gather that this means that all these sick people must be here to be healed, but how? I am not tall enough to see where the sick people are being taken. They just keep going by me, crying and pleading for help. If Mama were here she would reach out to them and offer to help. She is always doing things for the old people and the sick in our town. I just stand there and watch as they go by.
Children are crying and the crowd seems restless. It is clear that this is going to go on for a long time!
Papa starts to pick a way through the thick of the group, but then he changes his mind and starts to follow behind a small group of people with a sick man on a blanket between them.
"I want you to follow close behind me." He says "I am going to try to find the edge of the crowd so that we can walk around and get back to the road."
That's fine with me. I am getting more hungry, and I can't see anything. Without Papa I would be completely lost. I stay on his heels, and I am thinking about my dinner. It is right there in the bag. I can almost smell it. I remember Mama baking the bread, just a few hours ago. I look up when I hear the word "bread" just as I am thinking about it. In front of me are two men, and they look like they are about to have an argument. One of them is very upset, and the other, who has a lot of very wild hair, is trying to talk to him.

"Phillip," the man with the wild hair says "you need to calm down. If he said it, then there is a reason and we need to figure out what he is talking about."
"Andrew, there are people here that have walked all day. There are sick people, there are babies, and they have nothing to eat. Nothing. Why, that man over there, the last one to be healed? He said that his mother wanted to come up, but she was too weak to fight the crowd because she has not eaten since this morning. I don't even have a loaf of bread to feed her, let alone all these people."

I remember my extra loaf. I see papa waiting for me, but I say to the man named Andrew, with the wild hair, "Sir, if you want I have a loaf of bread that you can give to her. It's extra that my mama gave me with our dinner. She made it this morning."

The man called Phillip looks at me like he just wants me to go away, but his friend, Andrew, looks down and says "What do you have in your bag for dinner?"

I open the bag and pull out the parcel wrapped in a cloth. I open it and I show them the five small loaves of bread, and a surprise! Mama has also put two salted fish into the parcel. This is a treat. She must have thought about how long we would have to walk, and she put in two of the precious fish that Papa had caught. When he brought them home she had salted them for later, and we didn't have very many left. I just stared at them.

"I have five of these loaves, and Mama packed two fish!"

Phillip smiles distractedly and Andrew says "May I show them to someone?"

I start to worry that this may be one of the bad people that Papa has warned me about, who might want to steal our food, but then I think about what Mama would do. She would certainly offer what she had to hungry people, and he had only said that he wanted to show them to someone, not eat them.

"Well, Mama told me to share." I say, still I follow him as he takes the food. I look back at Papa.
 From where he is standing he looks kind of angry and starts back toward me, but it's so loud that I can't hear what he is saying.

Suddenly all around us everyone starts to sit down.
I am still standing and trying to keep my eyes on our food, when, as the crowd settles down on the grass, I am able to see who they are showing it to. He is a tall man, as big as Papa, with a beard like Papa's. He smiles over at me, as Andrew points me out, and for some reason I think that Mama would be very happy to know that I was sharing our food with this man.

He looks at the food and he says the Blessing, like he is going to eat it for his dinner, but then he hands a loaf each to Phillip and Andrew, and then two more, and then the two fish.
Well, I think, I am going to be in trouble with Papa, because he warned me about this.

Then he hands them each two more, and then two more, and more fish.
I haven't learned much about numbers yet, but I know that he has now given more of the loaves and fish than I had in my parcel.
Papa comes up beside me, but he is looking at the man that has our food. He doesn't look angry, he looks as confused as I am, but now everything is getting very busy. There are loaves everywhere, and fish too. Andrew comes back and hands me some loaves and a few fish, with a huge smile on his face.
He is laughing and so is Phillip.
They, and a few other men, begin working very hard to hand out food to the people sitting in front of the man. Those people start handing the food to the people behind them, which is a surprise, because I know how hungry everyone is.
Papa has dropped his net, and is staring at the man, and the man is staring back at him.

I am still hungry, but the food in my bag seems like something that I should save for Mama. I wish she were here. She would go right up and talk to the man.

All the people are eating, and the babies have stopped crying, and the restless crowd has become very happy. They are looking at their bread and fish and some of them are crying. Some people are singing and some of them are praying.

I look at the loaves and the fish and I think that this morning Mama made the bread, and a while ago Papa caught the fish. They did what they always do so that we can have what we need. And now Mama's bread and Papa's fish have been made into something that can feed a whole crowd, with a lot left over!

I look again at Papa and then at the man. He beckons me over to him. I look at Papa and he nods.
I walk over to where the man is now sitting on the ground, and he looks at me and smiles and says "Thank you for sharing your meal with us today. It is very good."

I look around at all the people eating the little dinner that I had packed. I don't know what to say, so I just say "My Mama made the bread."

"Please tell your Mama that she makes very good bread, and tell her that Jesus says Thank You."

"Ok, I will! She will be so happy to hear that her bread helped you. She is always giving it away."

I pick up the bag, that now has enough bread and fish for supper today and dinner tomorrow.

"Well, Bye." I say "We have to go get my dad's new net, he's a fisherman."

"I know a few fishermen," says Jesus "It is hard work. Have a safe journey."

I turn around and walk over to Papa. He lifts the net over his shoulder, and we begin to walk around the edge of the crowd. He looks down at me and says "It's so odd, my back feels so much better."

In My Weakness I am Strong

Living in this world is a topsy turvy experience.
It is only through becoming smaller and weaker that we can grow.
It is the power of Christ that strengthens me, as Paul said, but there is always the temptation to do it myself, to find solutions, have the answers and make things happen.
No. It is only in seeking God and His will that I am OK.
I find myself floundering in confusion, without the structure of my regular spiritual supports. I get lazy, and I put things off.
Here I am trying to figure out how to make something happen, meanwhile I have let the wonderful opportunity to go deep into His word pass me by. These days are a tremendous blessing!
I have time to study and to pray. There can be a rhythm of prayer and study everyday.
I have been whining and complaining but I should be so grateful!
Today will be used well. Today I will commit to Him.

Dear Jesus, I want to use this day well. You have given me time! That precious gift that I am always saying that I don't have enough of. I want to give this day back to you. To take the time that you have given me to pray and learn more about you.
Help me to remember that YOU are in control of all of this and that you are giving me a chance to grow in Faith and Love.

Thank You Jesus!!

Every Creature

"Go out into the whole world and proclaim the Gospel to every creature." ~ Mark 16:15

This is what Jesus told the apostles, after He rose, and they had refused to believe the words of others. He came to them in person and He showed them that He was risen indeed!
He didn't stop there though, because He had a job for them. Once we know Jesus, and once we are given the gift of the Truth, we can't stay in the upper room, behind the door.
We have to go out. We have to take what we know and share it, with every creature!
We don't need a degree in theology, and we don't need a title or position. We need Faith in what we have seen and heard. If we have this faith we can't be silent.

 "19But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge; 20for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.” ~Acts 4:19,20

The Apostles were hiding after the crucifixion, but once they realized that Jesus had risen, and after He sent the Holy Spirit to them, they were set free from the fear that drove them into hiding. Jesus put the mission into their hearts, and they couldn't be stopped. Once the Holy Spirit came to dwell within them, they had everything that they needed. They had the gifts that the Spirit gives to all that are baptized. 
We also have these gifts, once we open our hearts to the Spirit.
We are charged with the proclaimation of the Gospel, and we have to speak it! 

Why is it so hard to do that? Why do our hearts burn within us, and yet our tongues remain still? 
We have to ask for courage, boldness, zeal and most of all love for the ones that so desperately need this word. Every creature. 

Jesus never says anything that He doesn't mean. Every word in the Gospels is a treasure and has meaning for each of us. Every heart has a special relationship with the Lord. We can only speak what we know, but we do need to speak. We can't remain silent while the world around us is starving, and cold. The world around us is in bondage to the prince of lies. 

The Word came to free all those that are slaves to sin and dwell in the dark, but the word must be proclaimed. It is ours to share. How to share it is for us to discover. 

Each person has a special mission, and each of us will be given what we need for our part. He will not leave us without the provisions for the journey, but we do have to step out onto the road. 

It makes me think of Frodo, when the fellowship of the ring is first starting the journey to Mordor. He goes out onto the road, not even knowing if he should turn right or left, but he goes. And when he asks he is given the answer. He can't know what is ahead, but he trusts that he will have what he needs when he needs it. 

We also will have what we need, when we need it. Grace will be given and the right words will come. We will speak what He has for the people that we meet, in the "whole world" as we venture out onto the road. At first it's a little scary. You have to go out. You have to risk, and you have to trust that He will give. He will never ask us to do anything that He won't back up. If we love, and if we have faith, and if we step out, He will be with us. 

Where He Meets Me

A friend posted this on Facebook:

Have you ever noticed how in the scriptures men are always going up into the mountains to commune with the Lord?

Yet in the scriptures we hardly ever
hear of women going to the mountains,
and we know why — right?

Because the women were too busy
keeping life going;
they couldn’t abandon babies,
meals,
homes,
fires,
gardens,
and a thousand responsibilities to make the climb into the mountains!

I was talking to a friend the other day,
saying that as modern woman
I feel like I’m never “free” enough
from my responsibilities,
never in a quiet enough,
or holy enough spot
to have the type of communion
I want with God.

Her response floored me,
“That is why God comes to women.
Men have to climb the mountain to meet God, but God comes to women where ever they are.”

I have been pondering on her words for weeks and have searched my scriptures
to see that what she said is true.
God does in deed come to women
where they are,
when they are doing their ordinary,
everyday work.

He meets them at the wells
where they draw water for their families,
in their homes,
in their kitchens,
in their gardens.

He comes to them
as they sit beside sickbeds,
as they give birth,
care for the elderly,
and perform necessary mourning and burial rites.

Even at the empty tomb,
Mary was the first to witness Christ’s resurrection,
She was there because she was doing the womanly chore of properly preparing Christ’s body for burial.

In these seemingly mundane
and ordinary tasks,
these women of the scriptures found themselves face to face with divinity.

So if — like me — you ever start to bemoan the fact that you don’t have as much time to spend in the mountains with God as you would like. Remember, God comes to women. He knows where we are and the burdens we carry. He sees us, and if we open our eyes and our hearts we will see Him, even in the most ordinary places and in the most ordinary things.

He lives.

Original 🖌: Heather Farrell

The Word

"Never before has anyone spoken like this one" ~John 7:46

How true this is! Never before, and never again.
The people in the crowd listening to the words of Jesus had such mixed reactions. Some were convicted that He was the prophet, and some said The Christ. Others could not accept that a person of such a lowly background could be the Annointed One, but the words of Jesus caused something. The words went to their hearts.

The Word causes something.
It caused creation. It was in the beginning, and it will be at the end and beyond.
Jesus is the Word, and the Word will always cause division, as it did in the crowd that day. The Word will always go to our hearts. It creates, it changes, it challenges, and we can either deny it or embrace it, but it will never be silent.
It is our very life. It is the only Truth.

For some people that Truth is very inconvenient. It is a thorn. It resonates, and the hearts that want to deny it can never rest. They have to keep searching for something that will silence it, something that will drown it out. They have to find a way to kill what is the life of the soul. The Word never stops speaking life. To become deaf to it requires a death.

But to embrace it, to give over to it, is life!
The Truth is a person, and He loves us so much! He lives, He saves, He changes everything about us.
We can rest, we can fall into Him, we can respond to that warm voice of our Lover.
Our restless hearts are at peace.
The fire of that love inflames our hearts and we should burn for the souls of the ones that He loves.
We should desire their wholeness and their healing.
What we are is a part of what He is. We are a part of The Speaking.
The Word continues to seek out hearts.
Please, God, help me to be one who brings the life of the Word to whoever You send me to.

Kings, Queens, and Little Princes

The prince of this world is strutting around with a tiny little crown on his head.
"Corona" means crown, and this one has people everywhere in his thrall.
He is roaring in our lack of control, he is roaring in our tendency to panic and the lack of faith that has become commonplace in our world.
He is roaring in all of the things that we are influenced by.
He is causing fear, anger, division and dissention and he is howling into the chaos.

This distraction comes during the season of Lent, when we are supposed to be deep in prayer, fasting and caring for each other.
There is so much misinfomation, so much anxiety and so much noise in the air.

While all of this is going on, we absolutely have to remember that we are children of the Truth.
The Truth is that nothing can separate us from the love of God, and the love of God is everywhere and always.

If we keep our eyes focused on the true King, we can see that this is all a time of penitence. This is a time to pray and fast. We need to remember that the true King is with us, and that He has promised that He will never leave.

"Behold, I am with you always until the end of the age." Jesus promises.
If he is with us, who can be against us? Not even a tiny little prince.

Are we surprised that this tool of the prince of this world came from a place where unbelief is the law of the land? Is there anything in that fact that makes us wonder? Are we blind to the implications?

The fact is that there is always danger. We are ALWAYS in the valley of the shadow of death, and we are called to fear no evil, for he is with us.

Let's not give the little prince any victories of anger, division, fear, dissention, bitterness or chaos.
Let us give him no quarter in our hearts.

He has a tiny little crown, but we are assured that the Queen of Heaven, who has been crowned and sits at the King's right hand, will crush him.
Let us pray that she crushes this particular effort of the little prince before Easter, so that we can join together to celebrate the Glory of the Resurrection!

When The Truth Hurts

It is a fact that there are some truths that are much harder to accept than others.

The truths about sexuality are some of the hardest.

When we know that people that we care about, who are truly good people, trying to live good lives, have disorders of any kind, we ache for them and we want them to be happy.
In a fallen world there are many different types of "dis"orders, because the order that God created into it has been disturbed.
There are disorders of the physical systems; whether genetic, metabolic, or any of a thousand others.

Mental Health disorders create challenges for more and more people in our society, and many of these are of undetermined orign, although many people seem to have depression and anxiety that has come through the family line.

Another area in which we are challenged are the disorders of sexuality. Again, many times this seems to be just built into the person, as is Down's Syndrome or Schizophrenia.
Disorders of sexuality used to be seen as perversions, a lack of good parenting, or mental health issues, and the progress that has been made toward understanding and loving people, regardless of their sexual inclinations is a gift.
These challenges are real, and they affect people in every segment of society, and these are all people that desire love, connection and acceptance of their persons.
The challenges that people with same-sex attraction, or gender dysphoria, or sexual confusion face can be overwhelming and we need to meet them where they are and offer them the same love and acceptance that we would offer any other person that we meet.

And in that offer of love, we can also offer them the Truth.
That God made us in His image, and that we are called to be like Him.

In our sexuality, He has created us to be a sign of the greatest truth of all, the truth of His love. In the marital embrace, when a "man leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his wife and the two of them become one flesh", we are most like the Trinitarian family of God than in any other way. This is the Truth of who we are and why we are made the way that we are.
Man and woman are literally made for each other. When the two become one, and the Spirit of God acts, another person is created. Man and Woman are co-creators with God.
As the love of the Father and the Son is made manifest in the Holy Spirit, so the love of husband and wife is the catalyst from which new life springs.
That we participate in the revelation of the nature of God, and that He has entrusted us with the gift of creating new life, is not just part of the natural order, it is quite supernatural. It is a participation in the very life of God.

We can't avoid this order. We can't undo it, and we can't change it. We can't wish, or legislate, it away. It is God's design. He is the author of life and truth, and what He has made, He has declared good. When He made us, He declared us "very good"!

We have to look at the way He made us, and recognize that in this design there is a very fundamental truth. The truth is written in our bodies.

Longing

 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. ~Psalm 63:1

We are in a new time, a different time, and it is calling for something that most of us have never experienced. Jesus is calling for renewed appreciation of the gift of the Mass.

Many, many of the Diocese across the world have had to cancel Masses in response to the very real threat of the Corona Virus.
This means that many of us will not have the opportunity offer the Mass and to receive Jesus in the Eucharist for an indefinite period.
For those who are used to receiving Him weekly or daily, this comes as a trial, a Lenten fast.

I see this as a time of Spiritual continence.
We are so used to going to Mass and receiving Jesus that we can become complacent. We know him as our Lord, but we think that he will just always be there, waiting at the altar for us to receive during Mass. We go, and we receive, and of course we thank him, but we can become like a married couple that just looks at each other with a love that is the stuff of habit, and not longing.

For those that have experienced the practice of NFP, there is a certain similarity.
When you have to practice continence, and you know that you can only gaze but not become "one flesh", for good reasons, the desire becomes stronger. You wait, and you offer up that time, because you know that when the time is right to come together again, the wine of the marital union will be that much sweeter!

While we cannot go to Mass and recieve the body of Our Lord, and as we gaze at Him in adoration, let's renew the desire that we have for union with Him. Let's look at Him with new eyes and with an increased appreciation for what we have in this Holy Sacrifice.

Let us long for the Lord.

The Wine at Jacob's Well

Dear Jesus, I praise you for your word and the gift that it is!!

John 4:5-42~
This reading is so beautiful! It is a little lesson in Salvation history and the journey of the bride to the Bridegroom. When I opened it this morning it was as if I had never seen it before! How often I have read this passage, but have not understood this wonderful gift.

You began the work of salvation back in the very beginning with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Jacob's well gave an earthly gift of water to the people of the Old Covenant. They were the bride waiting for the Bridegroom. Their "husband" was the old covenant, the law and the prophets. The Samaritan woman represents the bride. She is a part of the people of Israel that has been away from the law, and they have had many "husbands". You tell her "the one that you have now is not your husband." And there you are, the Bridegroom, with the living water with which you will wash the bride to prepare her for the wedding feast. This is the water that you give as Spiritual gift. This water is the water that flows from your side as the Church is given. This is the new well, and the New Covenant. This is the water "welling up to eternal life" that cannot dry up, that does not fail to quench. The old covenant people would always be thirsty, would always be searching for the Bridegroom, unless they recognized you and embraced you as the One that they had been waiting for.

Here you are Lord!! With your arms open wide and the water flowing to bathe us in a nuptual bath and to quench us! You said "I thirst" as you died for the object of your desire, and the water was given from your Sacred Heart. You thirst for the Love of your bride. You desire her and you want her to ask you for the water.
The Church is the Bride prepared. She is walking down the aisle to you. She is still awaiting the final vows, and those that are supposed to be her bridesmaids and your groomsmen are not always very faithful. The guests and those that are invited are up to all sorts of nonsense in the sanctuary. They lie, they cheat and steal, they throw mud at her and try to slow her down, but she keeps walking, and she is led by some that are very faithful. Your vicar walks her down the aisle and does his best to get her to you.

The wedding feast is getting started in Heaven.
The table is being laid by the Saints. They are ready to welcome the new couple into the throneroom.

So much has been given since Jacob gave his people that old well. That water served well for the earthly journey. It was enough for a time, but now you are sitting on the well of the past and offering the water of eternal life that needs no bucket or cup. It never dries up and it will flow forever. It will become New Wine!

The School of the Spirit

I am not a person who holds anger. I do not feel resentments for long. I don't have a problem forgiving others. It's just never been something that I have had to struggle with.

I have been walking through foreign territory lately, and for a while I couldn't figure out why, but I think now I understand.

As I have been reading and working through the Unbound Ministry course, I have been finding so many areas in my own life that the Holy Spirit wants to heal, and that He desires to help me to understand. 

At first, a couple of weeks ago, while trying to navigate some issues with friends, I found myself becoming really angry at the person that was instigating the problems. Really angry. 

I had an ugly exchange with a legislator that left me fuming and unsettled. I couldn't stop thinking about it. 

Then I had a talk with a family member and we started talking about a situation that was very painful for that person, and myself, and I was once again really angry. The old wounds opened up and I felt the pain and resentment like it was yesterday. 

My son was in an accident, and I was angry at the man who hit him, at the police who wouldn't come and help, and at myself for putting my son into the situation in the first place. 

I have been more impatient and uncharitable with people; much more easily exasperated.

I have been hashing things over, talking about them, being defensive.

All of this is happening within the few weeks that I have started to work through the Unbound course.  I thought that it must be the devil. He must not want me to learn how to help people find the way out of bondage to him and into a new life with Christ. I figure he was trying to rattle me.

This morning I have a new perspective. I think that I am being given an opportunity to experience the feelings of anger that I don't usually struggle with, so that I can better understand what others have to pull out of their hearts. I think that the Holy Spirit wants me to walk through this with a desire to learn how to let Him draw out the poison and fill the wound with His presence.

At Mass this morning I was given so much insight and consolation!! Father called down annointing on those that carry anger and resentments and called us to let them go and to be freed by the Holy Spirit. And I did, and I was. 

What a gift!!

I have not enjoyed feeling angry. It is very unsettling and disturbing, but I think it was necessary. 

I want to take these lessons and not only help people see the joy of letting go and forgiving, but also what is possible for thier relationships, and futures. 

Butterflies

Remember that first love?
That thrill when you saw him coming down the hall at school?
The butterflies when she smiled over at you in class?

Those new and amazing feelings!
That awareness that there is another person in the world that my heart desires.
That burning realization that no one else will do.

There is no desire like that. It is intoxicating.

It is new wine. It changes us.

It is the Bridegroom's love for His bride.

He will never stop seeking you. You are His beloved.
He desires you more than you can possibly imagine.

Think about that.

You give God butterflies....

Excuses, Excuses

I have learned A LOT over the past three years.
I have learned, prayed, been filled, expanded, healed, and I have encountered Christ in ways that I couldn't have imagined.
He has sent me to courses, He has met me in Adoration, seminars, and at daily Mass.
My time is filled with good things, and I am seeing the old, fearful and unhappy parts of me being healed.
He calls me to become an active disciple, but I keep waiting for that time when I feel that I have enough tools in my bag. I want more training, more education, more signs. I think that all of those things are necessary, of course, but I wonder if in some ways I am hiding behind the preparation.
I wonder if I am keeping the Light under the bed, because I am afraid.
Paul says, "When I came to you, brothers and sisters, proclaiming the mystery of God, I did not come with sublimity of words or wisdom."
Jesus says "Your light must shine before others." He promised that He would give us the words that we should say.  If I don't open my mouth, the words will not come out. He can inspire my heart but if I do not have a willing tongue, how will He speak to the person in front of me?
The lie of "respect for others' beliefs" has permeated the culture. Of course I don't want to trample all over the feelings of other people, and of course I need to be gentle and only bear Christ's love to them, but if I really love them, I also need to get out of His way so that He can work through me.
I think I have an open heart, and a willing spirit, but I also have too careful a tongue.

It may not be speech that He is asking for, but to just be with people, so that they can see Him.
It could be that He just wants me to get out there, but I also have to be careful that I don't hide behind "activity". I have done that before. I have fallen for the lie that if I am doing all kinds of "good" things then I am doing enough.
Well, if I am not doing those good things in the name of Jesus and giving Him the glory, then I am just doing things. He is the author of Good. He is the one that all the good comes from and I have to be sure that I am giving Him all the Glory and praise that He is due. That is how others will see where the good, the joy and the Truth come from.

I used to think that my path should be education. That I should teach. I used to think that I needed to go down the road of formal education in order to be "credible".
I have long been on a path that has led to many kinds of understanding, but what I see now is that understanding is not going to come from anything that I know. All the books and courses and seminars are good, but they are not going to provide me with more understanding and wisdom, they are simply giving me structures. Those structures are good and necessary, but they are not the source.
He is the source, and He will equip me. What I need is more of Him. More of His Grace, more of His love, more of His truth in my heart.
I feel a sense of urgency. It makes me a bit nervous, but it is also exciting.
What did the 72 disciples feel as they went out onto the road? Did they feel fully prepared for the mission? Jesus sent them, and they went. They learned on the job. They were given the Grace to do what He needed them to do.

Jesus, give me the Grace that is sufficient for this day. Let me be a Light and help me always to remember that I CAN do all things in You, for You DO strengthen me.

The Devil's In The Distractions

Today in the Gospel we read about King Herod's undoing:

Herod was the one who had John arrested and bound in prison
on account of Herodias,
the wife of his brother Philip, whom he had married.
John had said to Herod,
“It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”
Herodias harbored a grudge against him
and wanted to kill him but was unable to do so.
Herod feared John, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man,
and kept him in custody.
When he heard him speak he was very much perplexed,
yet he liked to listen to him.
Herodias had an opportunity one day when Herod, on his birthday,
gave a banquet for his courtiers, his military officers,
and the leading men of Galilee.
His own daughter came in and performed a dance
that delighted Herod and his guests.
The king said to the girl,
“Ask of me whatever you wish and I will grant it to you.”
He even swore many things to her,
“I will grant you whatever you ask of me,
even to half of my kingdom.”
She went out and said to her mother,
“What shall I ask for?”
Her mother replied, “The head of John the Baptist.”
The girl hurried back to the king’s presence and made her request,
“I want you to give me at once on a platter
the head of John the Baptist.”
The king was deeply distressed,
but because of his oaths and the guests
he did not wish to break his word to her.
So he promptly dispatched an executioner
with orders to bring back his head.
He went off and beheaded him in the prison.
He brought in the head on a platter
and gave it to the girl.
The girl in turn gave it to her mother.
When his disciples heard about it,
they came and took his body and laid it in a tomb. ~Mark 6:14-29

Imagine Herod going to listen to John, taking time to listen to him speak. Within the walls of the prison, he might have sat in the quiet, and John would pray and the Holy Spirit would speak through him. In the relative quiet of the dungeon it would be easy for Herod to listen and maybe even grapple with the things that were being revealed. Silence is a great revealer. In the silence we are able to stop, breathe, and wait for what the Lord wants to tell us. But what if the Lord tells us something that we don't want, or aren't ready to hear? What if He speaks words to our hearts that convict us that change is needed? Change is how we become more and more grafted on to Christ, but change also means that we have to look at things that we have embraced for our lives, things that we have to let go of and cut off in order to live in His Grace. 

Herod probably heard this as he sat and listened to John in the quiet. Maybe he even thought in those times that he desired to be free of all the things that were destroying his peace. Maybe in those times, talking with John, he would agree that he was living a sinful and deadly life, and that he was going to change. Yes, by Heaven, he was going to confront his sin head on, he was going to send Herodias back to his brother, he was going to put a stop to the debauchery and wickedness of the social scene at the palace! Yes! I am going upstairs right now and get started! 

Don't we do this? 
We are praying, and Jesus reveals a place in our hearts that needs disinfecting, so we sit there and we agree with Him and we commit ourselves to conversion. We look at it and it seems so obvious that we need to send it packing. 
But just like Herod we leave that quiet place where the Lord has our attention and we go back to the distractions of our lives. 
He may have gone up to confront Herodias, who knows? But...well there was the birthday party that she had planned, and he didn't want to throw a wrench into that. A lot of important people would be coming. And there were the political people to deal with, and the Jewish leaders, and then he just forgot. 
There are so many times that I sit in Adoration and Jesus shows me something that He desires for me, or for someone that I love. He shows me how much better life can be. He offers me peace and Grace in that quiet place, and I embrace it! Oh, how I want that! I want to put away all that would get in the way. 

But then I leave, and there is a text from one of the kids, and there is laundry to do, and there is a podcast that I haven't listened to, and we have to get the tax stuff together....blah, blah, blah.

 Life in our time is the chaos equivalent of Herod's palace in full party mode. There are SO MANY things that require our attention! 
They crush our resolve. 

It's too hard to change, it's too much, I am ok, it's not really so bad, I'll go shopping. 
When will we be in a place where we can easily follow through? Never, if we don't look to Christ.

Herod had John the Baptist pointing the way to Jesus. Jesus was right there, in Galilee, in the flesh.
We have the Church pointing the way to Jesus, He is right here, on our altars, in the flesh. 
He wants us to have peace. He wants us to know that we are forgiven and that He takes away all that disturbs us. He is the healer of anxiety and disorder. 
We have to go to Him everyday, we have to sit at His feet, and we have to choose to accept what He is offering. 
If we do that, our lives will never be the same.