Enough Is a Lie

Last week I was so blest to attend another course hosted by the Theology Of The Body Institute.
This course was on the Writings of Pope St John Paul II, and it was just wonderful. Being able to focus on the words of his amazing mind, and feel the touch of his loving spirit was just a moment of joy. Of course the time spent with Jesus in Adoration was, as always the most important part of the week.
I learned some very good things in the classroom, but the things that I truly know were given to my heart by Our Lord.
One of those things was debunking the concept of "enough".

I think that this was probably a large component of Eve's temptation in the Garden.
I know that I have always struggled with it.

Eve was told that the glorious life that they were living with God was not enough.
Satan whispered that there was much more and that to have anything less than everything was to be cheated. 
Her love for Adam was not enough, her understanding of the world and it's joys was not enough.
We are wired for the same sad story, by our heritage of that sin.
We hear the whispers of satan and all too frequently we let him convince us that we just need more...
more admiration, more money, more education, more popularity, and at some point it will finally be enough.

I have fallen for this lie over and over, all my life.
"Your femininity is not enough"
"You're not pretty enough"
"You're not smart enough"
"You don't try hard enough"
"You aren't talented enough"
"You aren't cool enough"
"You aren't Holy enough"

My whole life I have listened to the lies of enough, and I have been striving.
Of course that's just what the enemy wants us to do. He wants us to run all over creation trying to figure out how to be enough to all the people and for all the things that we are told we should want.
Trying to please other people, out of worry about not measuring up, has always led me to further anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
I was never one of the "in" crowd, and never quite understood the code. I didn't really care, until the in crowd became people that I wanted to be close to. I would join a group or an organization, start a class or get a job, and I would always sense that there were people in the room that knew something that I couldn't quite figure out.
A comment or a certain look, and I would know that, once again, I wasn't "enough" for them.
I thought that I would "grow out of it", as a mom and teacher, and a member of a wonderful parish.
But while I was at the institute that feeling just kept rising to the surface. I was struggling with a few concepts, and feeling like the material was more unfamiliar than I had expected.
I kept imagining judgement. I would walk up to talk to someone and think "Who are you kidding? There are all these brilliant people here. That person is probably waiting for a chance to talk to one of them." I know that is ridiculous. I know that everyone that was there is a wonderful, loving and giving person. I couldn't have been in a more accepting and generous group.
This was all the lies of the evil one, who did NOT want me to be able to reach the place that the Lord wanted to take me.

And then I went to spend time with Him in Adoration.

On Thursday, while I was before Him, Jesus spoke such beautiful words to my heart.
He said "You know that enough is a lie. You don't have to be enough because I AM."

I belong to him and that is enough. It will always be enough.